neet finished

 

                                                                                     

yea...i know thats one floppy title , and even the content is gonna be depressing enough 

but finally , NEET is over..after all the trouble the last 2.5 years.. the exam is done 

how was the exam ??..not quite sure..phy was tough..chem too wasnt exactly that easy..bio was good..that was easy..

overall.the only thing i can pray for is no negatives..

i dont know 

i wanted to do a lot now that im on vacation 

as i start i cleaned my room , organised my books and stuff 

im thinking of updating this blog..like u know..deleting all the cringe stuff and keeping all the good ones .

i had to stop in the middle...I'm writing this on the 16th September 2021 

right now..I'm torn between enjoying my well deserved vacation and the looming threat of having to repeat .

like..I'm not sure..and I kinda know my marks are not on the 500 level or anything , even in jee im in 2. 5 lakh in terms of ranks .

the jee one im not sad..coz I didn't know math at all but managed to get this much, so it isn't that bad .

as for the rest..only time will tell 

im tired of this question my mom an dad...they keep asking about my marks..something which I don't ant to check..

its not that im not curious about it but..im kinda afraid that if I see it 

would I do something stupid..i dont want to die just because of some exam I wrote 

but then again the thought that this want just some exam is true...most of us have put our everything into it 

and the amount of trouble all of us went through and to think of the after effects of leading such a turtle shell life over the past 2.5 years , we end up in a thought...was it all worth it ??

I've heard the very same question from infinite number of people since the end of class 11...but that time there was a certain sense of trust in myself where i could sternly dismiss all of those people 

right now..i feel as though im tumbling down a stiar case which doesn't seem to end 

if it weren't for all those Disney movies my childhood is filed with ...i probably would've given up by now and left all of this..

the only thing i can do is hold my breathe and wait for the results 

face it whether good or bad and just move on in life .

at least though all of this a certain part of me has matured...

i dont know...i dont know if what im typing even makes sense..im just wondering where it all went wrong..

who knows...what ahead in life..

i should probably sharpen my writing skills so that i can at least write 

ughhh...im too pissed at the fact that i gave my relatives a chance to smirk on my expense..ughhh 

there was so so much i wanted to do..ughh

its all just a bundle of frustration circling through my brain...

at this point I've decided wherever i get..i gonna make sure that place es the spotlight and that ill lead it into the spotlight . 

in the end the only thing i can do is succumb to the thought that god has decided something for each one of us and he knows what is best..

and if its not good then it isn't the end...

lets wait and see if my life finally gets in rainbow after all that rain 

in the midst of all this i totally forgot about my luckycharm..that was the last thing on my mind the past 3 months..which is interesting 

i guess im growing up and probably one day i wont even remember who it was ...

lets hope for a happy ending , for that's all we can do