Getting lost with you 9

 

I cant believe that i just told the most craziest thing to him....

then again nothing which happened this week was something i could believe too..

andrew listened to the whole story with his mouth closed as tightly as possible so that he wouldnt laugh...

its obvious..i mean , who would even believe sucha theory other than me..he probably thinks im some weird psycho or something ..

i let out a heavy sigh as i ended my blabber..and for some reason my shoulders felt a little lighter than before...

i looked at his face..for a moment there was just silence..

he was about to say something but then got busy into overtaking the car infront..

now that i finally managed to tell him about the crazy story..i feel a bit...i cant seem to understand what i feel...as though now that ive said it the magic has gone 

or that now that i said it..maybe..he wont be my luckycharm anymore..

or maybe his significance in my life just got shredded into mere pieces of a crazy story .

as much as happy i would be to finally get rid of my 4 year old obsession with luck , as i looked at him i somehow felt as though im saying goodbye 

it was as if i declared a final verdict on my long standing case against myself ..

i thought i would be happy to finally get over it....but i feel sad for leaving it..

i feel sad when i think that i might no longer ever have the reassurance that..oh Andrews there !..i need not worry about today...

" so your saying you like me ?" 

he said suddenly as he turned to me and then looked a bit startled ...

this is just soo embarassing ... i dont even like him that way and this feels as though i confessed and why are my eyes flooding...the kid is probably thinking i like him..

i do like him...but not like that..

ughh...schrodingers theory seems more easier to understand than mine...

" No...i dont like you in that way...thats not what it is..i just feel reassured when your there ...and i feel comforted when your around..and i get this very stupid high level confidence that i can do anything because my luckycharm is there...and thats why your special to me...

i know it sounds very very weird ...but...i didnt want to deny it..and i thought you would want to know why i came to ask for your help..i want to say thank you...

thank you for being there...just being there...it was a big relief during tough times and it was just..nice to have some around..even though i didnt know you that well..

I'm saying this because i dont want to believe in the luckycharm stuff anymore..and i thought that maybe i coud get it out of my system...if i told you...so that i wouldnt get blinded by my own superstitions ..."