nothing

 

                                                                                    

I was feeling very tensed today and hence i have decided to write it out here .

maybe joining for a repeat was a bad idea...the more i get into this the more i feel like pretty much the same thing is gonna happen again. 

i mean..until how long should i keep studying this class 11 and 12...

and that too..i cant keep up with the classes , nor am i doing the workbook properly 

now am i even studying for the exams 

with meghs chechis wedding coming up..ill probbaly end up missing even more classes which is actually a very dreaded thing ... 

ini enthraya ingane skip cheyyua 

everyone else is gonna join a college finally and i have to go two steps back and begin from zero again.

from the way things r going , house people r just thinking im on some holiday since they all have classes offline and mine are online...

ini last exam few months aaya maathram they will come and start meddling with daily affairs.. 

im just frustrated with life in total 

i mean how do expect me to be happy when im back doing the same entrance thing 

this whole drama is making me so terrified 

i can assure you the word entrance sounds something like gas chambers now 

the one hitler used to use ... ughhh..that is the amount of terror 

seems like this times class teacher also calls on the basis of ranks only 

i feel throwing away the thought of medicine and just joining a random course and doing something else 

like i just dont want this whole tension and the health effects which come with it like buy one get one free

im also equally tired with people asking , commennting , advising and yada yada yada 

im just so done with everything that it feels dead inside 

like a deep hollowness where even if u smile outside it feels empty 

with the amount of recorded classes piling up even complaining like this has turned into a luxury i should go and finish my 2.5 hr units and measurements class 

i wish i could just get an admsiion where the fees are payable 

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i feel like im going downhill and porbbaly even this also like the other ones is gonna be a bad decision 

should i go to the hostel...but hostel is a whole di trauma itself