dealthy hallows

 

                                                                                

                                                                                                        

i just flipped by display settings while studying for this one. so this better be a good entry. 

what have i been upto that i have ben dormant for the past month apart from a few tiny words in the beginning of april. 

this month was exhilarating and boring at the same time for me. OBG postings are def not my thing. i havent found myself so disintrested in something that i barely care and i hate the stagnancy of the department where you just sit and rot there. not my style anyways 

off to the exhilrating part - i finally got to direct my drama !!!!! ahhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!! ( imagine me shouting at the top of my voice  ) , the very first directorial debut. i am elated as i write it. 

how long has it been since i did anything in the area of drama and theatre. 

tbh it was stressful to manage people , and also to organize all the stuff. i could get a scene in the mind but it was hard for me to put it into sentences like in a script. all i had with me were key words , thats what happens when u study proffessional courses where peoplw obsess over keywords.

so yeah i did use some AI for filling up the space and describing the environment. i didnt have a lot of time to sit and write the script. i know it doesnt justify it. 

but yeah directing was fun , you get to boss around people which is my fav past time hobby. 

the last week was stressful af trying to find suitable bgm and mixing it up and then setting it acc to time.there was also the porblem that i came in late almost everyday so i couldnt study most of the days and would just sleep after doing some drama related work. this made me a bit distant from my friends who were all into dance. 

manav was there to help me out with a lot of things. tbh im kinda glad i had him there to remind me to sit down  cause i was def overexerting my spine. 

the whole ordeal made me tired to my bones. by the end of the day all i wanted was to lie down and the plantar fascitis thingy wasnt helping either. but i havent said it elsewhere , i have never felt more alive than these past months. 

yeah physically it was too tiring for me but to be honest i havent gotten so much personal satisfaction in a long time. finally felt like i was alive in my world. trying to make that story come alive.  

ive forgotten all this and the lst time something like this happened was so many years back that getting to do it all once again , however stressful it was made me sleep at the end of the day without pitying myself or judging mysel. which was my biggest concern for the past few months. 

finally i was able to look at my inner self and not feel ashamed. im actually very proud of it. ill probably remember this one for a loong time. 

im glad that my friends helped me out with a lot of it too. tbh it was very hard for arya and me to manage the entire thing by ourselves , karthikey and manav were the ones who helped us a lot and then all the junior volunteer kids too. i wouldnt give compliments to aakash for he was basically uselss there and just standing. 

and it was also the first time i was wearing a dress for more than 30 mins and that was exciting as well. swear to god it looked smashing when i straightned my hair but it was all useless as i stepped out into the kochi humidity and the curls started scrunching in. 

walking in heels is def not my thing but i can manage for a night. i was just glad it didnt fuck uo my spine. its sad how spine health comes first nowadays for everything , i remember i saw a reel of a girl doing parkour and thinking yeah my spine couldnt. ever. 

also ... drum roll ... i also got a mini dance sesh with manav which was fucking sweet. my teenage self wouldve screamed if she saw me !!!. i had been a dream to have a cute couple dance with the guy i like and i got to do it !!!. who wouldve thought !. but i wish it was a bit more longer and less crowded too. that wouldve been damn romantic. it still was tho. its that imaginary scenario which actually happened. i should probably touch wood. dont wanna jinx it. 

i took a small break between writing this. so i kinda forgot what my plan was to write in the next paragraph.