DRIBBITY DROPITTY DOOP

                                                                                 

guess who thought she's fine and found herself puking and pooping late in the night only to end up stuck to a boring IV and watch it go drip by drip ? me

lesson learnt : take a break when your sick. even if u just took a 10 day break. allow yourself to rest and recuperate instead of acting like poopye the sailorman ( please sing it as u read ).

I made chocolate milk to add to the writing vibe but then ended up drinking it up first. it was supposed to be my writing accompaniment. 

I genuinely thought that my stomach was just acting up from being homesick. i couldn't not fathom the thought of leaving my hibernation to come back to work. nah uh , the whole anxiety was the process of coming back to amrita. once i landed in the campus , i was actually quite fine in the aspect of homesickness. i guess this has somehow evolved to become a second home to me however messed up it is. but my health was not quite in the pinnacle , i could hardly carry my luggage and i felt like a phone at 15 %. 

i regained 20% of my energy once i realized that my roommate hasn't returned yet and that i have the room to myself. i took the kanji i asked lima to save up for me with tears in my eyes as finally my brain accepts the fact that im back to college and that my summer break during monsoon is over. i closed the door and started crying like a child. i was devasted. i wanted to go back home and i was sick. 

i called up manav like a child and ended up crying like a baby. i felt bad for him , he didnt get to go home but has to listen to my drama and babying. but honestly , it felt nice to have someone to call to and speak about instead of imaginary rambles !. ( rambles is a word that stuck to my mind after i heard lord ledger use it in bridgerton ). 

i didnt answer any of my moms calls and instead updaed her via text. id break if i had to hear her voice too in the middle of peak homesickness. 

this is what happens when there are long breaks and you enjoy a bit too much and when home finally starts to warm up to you its time to pack your bags and leave. and that is just plain sad. 

if it were a normal 3 day / 4 day holiday , home ends up being like a diy resort to go stay play around and come back. but as the holiday get prolonged you find yourself wondering of all your childhood spent there and how the house has changed over the years. you find yourself lost in thoughts you look around and remember days from the past. 

i went back home and was walking after my dinner and the familiar scent of my handwash reminded me of the night i was walking after the neet exam when finally all the worlds burden left my shoulders. 

and of the time when my breaks were only 5/10 m because kalyani was on call and i had to go back to study , and that time when my mom installed one of those wooden chair swing thingy and i swung it too hard and ended up falling on the floor. 

the point is , this time when i went back home i ended up overthinking a lot and also genuinely enjoying the house and the people in there. i finally decided to become a bit humane and visited my aunts , went out on a dinner with my brother ( obv i complained before doing all this but that doesnt count ). 

sometimes its hard to come back to hostel , but then while i was latched up to the IV drip i realised i have a home here too however small it is. a warm home with people who genuinely cared to come up and stay with me during my hard times and im grateful to have people like that in life. it made my homesickness better. 

as for my actual suspected food poisoning from a brownie ( insert raised eyebrows emoji ) - i am slowly getting back to normal. my stomach is still fucked up and i feel light headed at times but hey atleast im not crouching infront of the toilet and crying. 

so here's to better health , and more vacations ( hopefully )